What women think about erectile dysfunction

- Categories : Sexuality

Many visits to sexology clinics are about women who are concerned about their partner's erectile dysfunction problems. The reality is that men and women often react differently to such problems, and lack of communication can make them even worse. For men, erection problems often lead to changes in self-esteem and concern about what their partner will think. They fear they are not enough, that they are not able to fulfil their partner’s desires and, ultimately, they fear being abandoned because of this. While it is true that there may be a minority of women who base their assessment of a man on the behaviour of his penis, just as a minority of men may assess women on how they are in bed, the majority of couples think entirely different things. In the following Zensual Blog post we explain what women think about erectile dysfunction and give you a series of tips to improve relationships in this type of situation.

What does a woman feel when a man cannot get a hard on?

Initially, a woman's reactions to a problem of lack of erection can be summarised in three types. We will explain them below and explain the possible consequences of each one of them:


This is a major mistake and not only does it not solve anything, but it will only deepen the problems of maintaining an erection. Anger and criticism may be one of the reactions a woman has when she sees that her partner is unable to continue penetration. This idea, which is based on the macho idea that the penis and penetration are the only valid ways of sexual practice, makes the woman see the man as the only one responsible for her pleasure. The consequences of this type of reaction will be a loss of sense of security and self-esteem on the part of the man, increasing erection problems and making it more difficult to solve the problem.

Loss of self-esteem

This is the most common reaction among women. What do women think about erectile dysfunction? In most cases they believe that it is their own fault, that if the man does not get a good erection it is because they are not sufficiently aroused and therefore no longer want it. This is also a misconception, because although lack of sexual attraction can lead to erectile dysfunction problems, it is far from being the main cause. In fact, the more attraction a man feels, the more he wants to look good and the more nervous he is, the more likely he is to have an erection problem.


This is the best course of action. Trying to understand and reassure your partner will help solve the erection problem. In the end, a sexual relationship is an act of understanding and complicity, of trying to make the other person enjoy while you enjoy yourself. What happens when a problem of this type appears? We must act in the same way, understand that these are things that happen and reassure him so that he knows that it is not so important. Trying to take the heat out of the matter - even using humour - will be the best solution in these cases. In this way, we can prevent the man from becoming obsessed with it and end up chronifying his condition.

How does a man with erectile dysfunction feel?

When faced with erectile dysfunction, most men are afraid of how they will be perceived. They are afraid of being seen as "unmanly" or "incomplete men", causing them to become self-absorbed in their own problems and eventually give up sex altogether. The greatest fear these men have is not being able to please their partner sexually and being labelled as bad lovers. Not only does this affect the sexual sphere, but problems in bed can have consequences for their day-to-day life, self-esteem and self-perception. It is common for erection problems to lead to psychological problems, just as psychological problems will also affect sexual health.

How to help a man who cannot get a hard on?

As we have explained before, the best reaction a woman can have to her partner's erection problems is to understand and try to reassure him. For those women who find themselves in the situation where their partner has lost his erection or has been unable to get one, the best thing to do is to try to de-dramatise the situation and accept it as something completely normal that can happen to anyone.

Although it is not a conversation you often have or hear about, the vast majority of men have had or will have some kind of erection problem, either occasionally or recurrently. This also happens to women, who may lose or fail to achieve arousal on occasion, but in this case it is not as visible as it is in the case of men.

Whatever the case, whether or not there is an erection, there is always the possibility of having satisfactory intercourse, for example with erection enhancers. But you can also start to explore sex beyond penetration, which will help to reduce tension and achieve higher quality erections. Sexy games, oral sex, masturbation... These are all part of lovemaking, not just penetration. You should bear in mind that intercourse is only one of the many techniques we have at our disposal to enjoy, but it is not the only one, nor is it the most suitable for everyone. In fact, if we talk about the female orgasm, it is not the best or the most suitable either.

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